


This Will Have to Suffice

by Butlouisthough



Category: Original Work
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Medical Inaccuracies, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 09:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butlouisthough/pseuds/Butlouisthough
Summary: Claire keeps her declining health a secret, and Sage wakes up to something she never expected.





	This Will Have to Suffice

The wound had been festering for several days before Claire realized just how bad it was. Now the red swollen veins snaked up her thigh and she walked with a slight limp from the pain. Yet, things were looking up. The bear that had given her the gash would feed the camp for weeks.

Claire wouldn’t live long enough to see the last of it eaten.

Winter was ending and with that would come fruits. Things were getting better and she wouldn’t take away from everyone else’s excitement. After all, it wasn’t hard to keep sickness a secret under all the layers winter required. Although it was hard to hide the constant fever for that same reason.

“Pass the water jug, would you Claire?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Claire stood up, electing to sit as far from the blazing fire as possible in hopes of the night air cooling her. She had to carry it over, holding her breath as to not wince with every step.

There were a total of twenty-three people in their encampment. They had established a hierarchy early on, Claire was considered second in command. It worried her to think of the temporary chaos they’d be thrown in after her death, but she was sure they’d act quickly and efficiently.

The hardest part was laying down at night, with nothing to occupy her mind. Thinking of all the things she was leaving behind.

 

“Claire!”

She looked up from where she was attempting to mend a coat - she was never very skilled at sewing - and her face broke into a smile. There was one thing that could always distract her. Sage, the love of her life, had just returned from a foraging trip.

“Sage!” She stood up, her leg wobbling weakly beneath her, and held her arms open.

“I missed you so much,” Sage gushed.

“You were only gone for a day.” She kissed her neck and buried her head in Sage’s shoulder. “But I missed you too.”

Sage pulled away, the smile still stuck on her lips. They’d known each other since before everything had happened.

Claire had been living in the New York subway stations. She’d always come back to 14th Street, though, people were nicer there. Sage rode the subway to work every weekday. It’d become a regular occurrence for them to greet each other in the morning. Then one day, Sage approached her with a possible job. It wasn’t much, washing dishes at a small diner, but it was the best thing that had happened to Claire in a long time.

They’d been in Sage’s apartment when it had happened.

“We were pretty successful this time around. It seems like things are already starting to grow. I think it’s going to be a good year.”

Claire's heart jolted at the thought of not seeing it unfold. She smiled despite herself.

“I hope it is.”

That night as Sage lay sleeping next to her, Claire tugged her pants down to check the progress of the infection. The veins reached and curled just passed her hip. The slashes from the bear were directly above her right knee. At the time it had hurt like hell but had seemed fairly harmless, almost shallow even. In fact, the worst part was that Claire had fainted and had to be carried back to camp. Everyone had laughed, the doctor had bandaged her up, and she was told to rest. Their doctor was a nursing student who had been in her first year of schooling.

 

Claire was woken up early by Sage the next morning. She smiled up at her and puckered her lips. Sage laughed and kissed her, brushing the hair away from her eyes.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “You feel kind of warm. You feeling okay?”

Claire’s fear spiked. “Yeah. I think I’m just getting a cold.”

“Oh well, I can grab some aspirin from the med tent.”

She laughed nonchalantly. “No, it’s okay. Save it for someone who really needs it.”

Sage stood up, shaking her head. “I’m sending someone with some aspirin while you rest in bed. The only reason I’m leaving is because I promised Greta I'd help with clothes washing.”

Claire sat up on her elbows. “I’m not spending all day in bed.”

“Fine,” she sighed, exasperated, “just don’t strain yourself too hard.”

 

Claire stood next to Olive, attempting to instruct on how to stand and how to hold the bow correctly so she didn’t slice her arm with the arrow. She had to move to a long, though, to relieve some of the pain in her leg that was beginning to radiate up her side.

She sighed as Olive missed the tree again. “It’s okay Olive, just take a deep breath. Don't stress, you’re not going to become a master in one morning.

Olive strung the arrow, moving her feet restlessly. Claire knew she was going to miss again, instead of paying attention, she discreetly pressed her fingers to her pulse in her neck. Her heart was beating like a hummingbirds wings. It made it tricky to talk without sounding breathless.

“Can we just do this tomorrow? Everyone else is playing hide and seek in the North.” Olive stomped her foot petulantly.

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll grab the arrows.”

Olive ran off, leaving the bow behind. With some difficulty, Claire stood up from the log. A sudden wave of dizziness hit her as she walked over to the tree. She had to lean against the trunk for support. Then without warning, she puked the contents of her stomach into a shrub at the base of the tree.

Earlier in the morning, when she had been getting ready for the day Claire had noticed reddish-purple splotches had joined the swollen veins. Maybe it was time to say her goodbyes. She wanted to write a note to Sage, and she couldn’t do that if she was dead.

Claire was still by the river with Greta. By this point they were starting to they were starting to lay clothes out on the rocks to dry. This process was easier and faster in the summer when they had actual sun.

It took a moment for Claire to gather her courage; tears kept flooding her eyes. There were some many more things she wanted to do and say. Instead of dwelling, she watched Sage work for a minute longer. She was methodical in the way she organized the clothes and stamped the excess water out. Her hands had to be freezing in this cold weather.

Finally, Claire stepped out onto the bank. Sage immediately noticed her and smiled.

“How’s it going? I heard you were trying to teach Olive the art of archery.”

“Yeah, it didn’t go too well. She gave up and I let her go play with the other kids.”

“Meh,” Sage waved her hand dismissively, “you can get back at it tomorrow.”

Claire smiled and sat next down on a free rock - her heart was beating so fast it was making her light-headed. As Sage and Greta continued with the laundry, Sage talked about Andrew’s filthy clothes and how she couldn’t understand how one kid could be so dirty. Claire successfully steered the conversation - by some social feat - to before, when she’d been living in Sage’s apartment.

They talked about how they missed central heating and fried chicken. The soft blankets that created a nest within their bed. A real mattress, neighbors that would bang on the wall when they were too loud. Claire remembered that they’d talked about adopting a cat. How they made daily trips to the grocery store because there was always that one thing they forgot. Sage laughed and commented about the basicness of what they ate nowadays.

When night came, Claire waited for Sage to crawl into bed and getting comfortable before unfolding the note on the ground beside her. She turned on her side, Sage was facing away from her and cuddled up behind her.

Sage pushed her away. “You’re hands are so cold. No cuddling.”

Claire bit her lip and tried to force out a laugh, it didn’t really work. Sage was too tired to notice. She drew her hands to her chest and stared at Sage’s back. She listened to the way her breathing slowed as she drifted asleep. She worried about how she would react and attempted to convince herself that Sage would be okay.

Everything would be okay.

At approximately 3:30 am, long after Claire had fallen asleep, her heart gave out against the infection.

Sage rolled over to cuddle up against Claire, but something felt wrong. She sat up and looked at Claire, her face was pale. Her heart dropped and she shook her shoulder, she didn’t respond.  
“Claire, this isn’t funny.”  
Sage knew this wasn’t a joke. A sob broke from her throat. This was supposed to be a good year.

 

_Dear Sage,_

_God, that sounds so formal. I wish I could properly express how much I love you, but it’d take hundreds of years and thousands of notes. I guess this will have to suffice._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I’d write it so many more times but I’ve got limited space and so much to say. Everyone is still going to need you, I know you’re going to want to lay in bed because I know you. I know every goddamn part of your soul and I wish I could spend another sixty years exploring with you. I love you so much._

_I know I should have told you what was happening, but it’s supposed to be a good year. What was the pointing of giving you a couple extra days of grief? I know that’s not a good reason._

_Thank you for always being there for me, the good and the bad. When I was homeless, when I decided to quit that terrible job you got me, when I got a job at the_ library, _and so many other times that I couldn’t possibly list them all. I love you with all my heart._

 _I’ll be waiting for you, watching from the skies. And a long time from now - and I mean_ loooong _\- you’ll join me in the galaxy and we’ll do some more exploring. That doesn’t quite make sense, but I was never the poetic type, was I?_

_I’d say I can’t wait to see you again. But I can. I want you to live the longest life possible. Discover new things, meet new people, move on. Fall in love again because you deserve that._

_I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you_


End file.
